Life with Asperger's Syndrome can be very confusing. Many days, Caleb is very high functioning and you would never expect that there is something different about the wiring in his brain. Other days, it's quite obvious that this child has some real issues.

Caleb continues to mature and grow and his bad days are few and far between now. However, one bad day in particular always comes to mind when I think back in time for an example of Caleb's bad days. It must have been about 3 years ago. He was about 11 years old and everything, and I mean everything, had been going bad that afternoon. Add to it that I was on my high horse (not exactly sure of the reason but probably something to do with Mike being in Iraq I'm sure) and that I was meeting out direction and commands to everyone who would listen, and you soon realize that nothing good could come of the situation. Eventually Caleb reached the melting point of having too many directions thrown at him at one time and his wires pretty much got fried.

I remember him distinctly walking up the stairs to do something I had told him to do while I was still dishing out more commands and he just lost it. All control was tossed out the window as he screamed "Dammit, woman!" at the top of his voice! In a flash, all of the other children scattered faster than a car traveling on the autobahn. "Oh my!!" was the only thing registering in my brain for several seconds! The look on his face was priceless. Seeing it, I instinctively knew that Edvard Munch must have used a child with Asperger's to create his famous painting, The Scream. I witnessed that stricken look of horror on my stairs as Caleb shrunk into a ball on the stairs and started bawling. He knew he had crossed a barrier with disrespect that should have never in all that is holy been dared to be crossed.  

There could be no punishment dished out this day. I had exasperated my child and I knew it.  I am commanded not to do that just as much as he is commanded to honor me as a parent.  I sat beside Caleb on the stairs and we both cried and held on to each other for comfort. I sought his forgiveness as he continued to say "I'm so sorry" through his tears.

Everything stopped that day. The chores were put on a back burner. We ordered out for dinner and we sat together as a family and watched a movie and played games. There are always things to accomplish but there are some things that are just stopping points. This moment was one of them. We all needed to regroup and put each other first.

As a parent of a special needs child I have learned that I must command authority and respect. I can not let my child use his diagnosis as an excuse to misbehave on a daily basis. I see that all to often in society and I do not want that to happen within my own family. However, I also realize that there will be some days that are just bad days with wrenches thrown into the mix that make everything go cattywompus. Unfortunately, I realize that sometimes it is of my own making and I have to correct myself in order to correct my children, especially Caleb.

I would never exchange Caleb for a different child if given the opportunity. He is the blessing that God gave to our family and there has never been a day that I thought I could live without him. That thought actually brings tears to my eyes! There is not another child in this world who can make the sound effects he can make (think cross between any of George Lucas' characters and Rowan Atkinson ). There is not another child who can give me hugs the way he does. And, yes, there is not another child who can stop me in my tracks with the things he says... good or bad! My life has been made extra special by the son God gave me. I thank God for His most generous blessing each and every day!

What are some life lessons you have learned from having a special needs child? I encourage you to thank God everyday for the blessing you have been given...

Sallie